Can't you keep my hand to yourself?!
Tuesday, January 31
  State of the Union Address
I didn't watch it, and I don't want to read any articles, I'm counting on WUSTLOG to catch me up on all of the action, is that a mistake?
 
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Comments:
MLK is my nigga. We must continue policing the world. Iraq loves me. No, seriously. I will continue to listen to people who agree with me. Shout out to my homies on the right! I will continue to stand by my decisions, even against overwhelming "evidence". Blah blah blah ethonol. Gs up, hos down, peace out.

Did I miss anything?
 
Oh wow, I seem to have missed this part of the speech...

"A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners, and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids and buying, selling or patenting human embryos. Human life is a gift from our creator and that gift should never be discarded, devalued or put up for sale."

Bush is obviously crazy. Everyone knows "human-animal hybrids" would be totally sweet. If Bush has his way, I'll never be able to graft my head onto a giraffe! He must be stopped!
 
I read somewhere that Stalin had, in fact, instituted a program to cross breed humans with chimps (or some suitable monkey/ape) to create a race of super warriors. Then, of course, there was Oliver the Humanzee.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_the_chimpanzee
 
Bless the WUSTLOG, where I happen to learn something new everyday....
 
lee, your coverage of the SUA was exactly what I needed. thank you for writing it, thank you tony for requesting it, and thank you sam for complementing it
 
Listen, I've actually figured out why Bush's public speaking skills are so terrible. You see, he's actually the mutant known as Banshee. His voice is capable of causing severe damage to the nervous system by occasionally reaching a pitch undetectable by humans.
 
That's you conservatives excuse for everything:

"Tom Delay was a banshee," "George Bush is a banshee," blah blah blah. The republican party needs to stop making excuses and start backing non-banshees for major public office.
 
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